Slice of life with jam
by mathrave
Summary: K-On teatime with extra gadgets, tools and magic.


**Disclaimer**: I do not own K-On!, Doraemon, Dragon Ball, Haruhi Suzumiya, Yuru Yuri and Oreo.

* * *

BANG!

"Hey guy! I've arrived!"

Ritsu, being herself, barges into the clubroom in the loudest way possible. Mio, also being herself, knocks her best friend down in the most hurtful way possible. School ends and business starts as usual in the Light Music Club.

Mugi smiles happily and pretends to have just noticed her friend's arrival. Putting down the teapot, the ojou-sama introduces her new snack for the day:

"Everyone, today we will have special cookies!"

Yui beams as she inspects those little animal shaped Oreo:

"Wow, so cuteeeeee! Mugi-chan, where did you get these?"

"Ah, a friend of my father gave those to us as a present."

Ritsu raises her eyebrow, she's also looking at a monkey cookie - however - with unimpressed eyes:

"Again, huh, and how are those special?"

Their smallest member decides to pick this moment to join in the conversation frustratedly, but with another topic:

"Senpai, so are we going to practice today? You know we..."

Before Azusa can finish her sentence about diligent practice and the divine moral of those who are hard-working, Yui starts shaking and making weird animal sounds.

The whole club immediately turn to Yui. The main guitarist seems to have difficulty breathing, her face is red and you can see her goosebumps and sweat at the same time. Before Ritsu and Mugi can run to aid, before panic has registered into Mio's brain, before Azusa can scream "Yui-senpai!", a smoke screen covers everything.

POP.

"Cough, cough" Ritsu is the first one to recover "What has just happened? Yui? You're OK?

The reply doesn't sound human:

"Arf"

In place of Yui, there is a cute little puppy. Brown hair, big brown 'puppy' eyes that poke into the corner reserved for little kids in your heart, and that airhead grin (or panting) - that is unmistakably Yui.

"I..i..is that y..you, Yui senpai?"

"Arf"

Ritsu tries a harder test:

"I have two cakes. I want to share with you. How many cakes would you have?"

"Arf. Arf."

"Ah. There you go. She is our Yui."

"RITSU! Stop joking around."

Mio still doesn't want to believe that her friend has just turned into a dog in front of her eyes. Something that happens constantly in her dreams, stories and lyrics though.

"What? But I'm not. How can you explain Yui's disappearance and the dog's existence then?"

"..."

Yui-puppy ignores the bickering of the infamous couple and turns to her favourite kitty. Poor Azusa is still blinking her eyes to adjust with this kind of Haruhi event when her senpai jumps on her:

"Kya" "Arf" Crash. "Ouch. Yui-senpai, what are..."

Once again, her sentence is cut short. Lying on the floor with Yui-puppy on top, Azusa tries to react but things just happen too fast for her today: she feels wetness on her face. Then her lips. Oh did I mention Azusa had her mouth open because she was talking? Yep, Yui is licking Azusa's face enthusiastically with her tail wagging like mad, and we've got some tongue work involved.

CRASH.

Another fallen musician. This time it's Mugi. The ever gentle love-looking-at-girls-bonding Mugi is now resembling a certain glass-wearing character from Yuru Yuri. Mio is certainly being torn between saving Azusa - which she feels strangely unnecessary - and helping Mugi - whom she is scared to look at right now.

POP.

The members of the Light Music Club don't really have any energy left to be surprised with Yui's turning back to human this time. Her transformation lasts only a few minutes, but it feels like a whole century of shock to the others, especially Azusa. Yui herself doesn't seem to realised that she is back though. She keeps licking the kouhai. And her Azunyan has lost every signal of life to do anything about it.

Seeing the blood pool is expanding at an alarming rate, Ritsu finally tears Yui off Azusa. Only now that the guitarist gasps and her 'human' senses look to have returned. No need for Mugi, the one who brought the cookies in, Yui excitedly explains the whole thing to Ritsu and Mio (the only people who are still able to listen to her):

"Ricchan, Mio-chan! This is amazing! I ate a dog-shaped cookie and I turned into a dog."

The explanation really has Yui written all over it. Speaking of Captain Obvious.

Mio voices her concern while wiping a lifeless Azusa's face:

"Th..this thing is clearly dangerous. We have to get rid of it."

Mugi revives:

"NO WAY! It's usefu... I mean... It's kind of fun when we can turn into animals right?"

Ritsu pips in:

"Yeah. I think this is fun. It's not like there's any side effect right?"

Mio gives her death glare:

"What will you do with it?"

Ritsu stays silence. Of course in her mind, 'useful' means sneaking into Mio's house without notice, scaring Mio and escaping in time, and thousands of pranks - on Mio. Yui's fun is to turn into animals for the sake of it, but you can't expect the somewhat-cunning buchou to turn into a dog just to be pet and hugged, can you? Instead of giving Mio an answer, she picks up the monkey-shaped cookie she's looked at before, and quickly digests it.

POP. Too late. The black hair team is too slow today.

On the table in the clubroom, there is now a little yellow monkey with sharp amber eyes. She's squatting on the table and having a distinctively mischievous grin. In seconds, the monkey starts to look bored and make a lot of noises to announce this. Definitely Ritsu.

Yui, with her extraordinary tastes, immediately screams "Cuteeeee" and tries to hug her Captain.

The monkey jumps out of Yui's reach with ease. She opts to climb on Mio instead, and Mio just can't catch the monkey. After having recovered from anaemia, Mugi starts to feel weak in her knees again when she sees Ritsu hanging on Mio's clothes.

True to her animal instinct (or not), Ritsu-monkey climbs all over Mio, moving from shoulder to head, from head to the breasts, breast to left arm - then flings to her back, all the while making a lot of noises similar to snickering. You must be dead to not be annoyed by this.

Not to mention Ritsu clearly likes to dangle on your boobs.

Ah, but thinking about consequences is unfortunately not Ritsu's forte.

POP.

Ritsu transforms back when she prepares to jump from Mio's back to her right arm. So her human form falls heavily to the floor, ensuring sitting difficulties in the next few days. But that isn't all. Turning to Mio in an attempt to apologise, Ritsu witnesses her best friend levelling up into a Super Saiyan. Mio's voice, on the other hand, is cold:

"Mugi, do you have something that I can punish Ritsu with?"

"Certainly. Are this whip and this candle good enough?"

"Mio. No wait. It was the cookie. I didn't know what I was doing. I swear I didn't know. Wait. No. Please forgive me!"

Ritsu continues her pleas as she is cornered into the storage room. Yui covers Azusa's eyes, her senpai's responsibility kicking in. Each of the three members left has their own thought:

"_Why do we have whip and candle in a Light Music Club? Wait, is this still the Light Music Club? Wait wait, does it count if my first kiss is with Yu.. a puppy?" _

"_First French kissing and now SM play. Today is so fruitful. Mio-chan sure lives up to the nickname Dangerous Queen that Ricchan gave her." _

"_Now... how can I make Azunyan eat a cookie?" _

This is going to be a really, really long afterschool teatime.

* * *

**AN:**

I think I should apologise to Ritsu's fans. I'm a fan of the drummer myself, and her being a wolf is really cool and somewhat fitting, but if you ask me "what if each K-On member is an animal" then my honest answer is above.

I have ideas, but I can't promise anything about writing more chapters.

Thank you for reading. Reviews are more than welcome.


End file.
